Positive:
I got 12+ hours of sleep!! I showered so now I'm clean and rested up for the next week! Yes! 2 more weeks! I wish I had friends to spend the summer with...but I'll just concentrate on losing some weight...or not really losing wt so my arms don't look like my thighs...lol
on that note, my toes are really weird looking. They look like fingers. Which I guess is kind of cool, but not really? IDK
Accomplished:
I didn't say this before bc I forgot, but I think this goes under this category. You know about my social anxiety issues right? Well on pretzel day, lol let me think about when that was...lol nvm, let me go google it, it was Tuesday, I got a coupon to get a text saying I could get a free pretzel and so I debated whether to go or not...
Lol, it was free so I really wanted to get it, but then I would have to explain how I had a text and I was supposed to get a free pretzel and what if they didn't know what I was talking about? What if they said I needed a coupon? What if they didn't believe me? ๑ΘдΘ๑
Yup. But, I decided to gather my courage and go. And I got it! And it was good. And I shared it with my mom and brother(except he refused it..lol).
But I bring it up bc I got another free pretzel coupon but for a different place and I'm suppose to go get it today and all those worries before are starting to crop up and bleck. I can do it right? Lol. I wish I was able to say that confidently.
Looking forward to:
Tomorrow being Sunday! I got a weekend where I can study hard, laugh hard, and just try to survive these next two weeks! :C Lol that was suppose to be a happy face. :D Lol, c, and d are close in the alphabet. So close enough.
So if you see someone you went to school with, would you go say hi? For me, it's no. I'm the kind of person who once I see someone who could possibly know me, I would duck behind whatever's available, wherebeit a tree, sign, different aisle, or whatever, I can't do it.
And by it, I mean:
"Hey my name!"
"...hey! How are you?"
"Good, how about you?"
"Yup, about the same..."
"Yeah..."
"Yup..."
"So..."
"...I'll see ya later then ok?" Scurries away as fast as I can without looking back. And that's the sum of most of the conversations in real life except with awkward silences interlaced. A joy isn't it?
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Friday, April 29, 2016
'Cause we're young and we're reckless We'll take this way too far ♬
I was young. But I had never been reckless. I mean no parties, no drugs, no dating, no rebellion. I mean just in the past few years is where I've been kind of irritated at my parents or people for no reason, which is symbolic of teenage angst but...I'm not a teenager. Lol.
Like I said, I'm a late bloomer. :)
Positive:
Another day down, dude! And, no matter what anyone says, making it through each day is amazing!
Accomplishment:
I...didn't cry. Today was worst than other Fridays bc since there was a bit more freetime, so you know lots of downtime to just stand there and talk. Lol, the WORST situation when you have no friends in the class and are just barely polite(lol this is referring to me, bc while I don't purposely try to be rude, it can be taken that way since I don't make eye contact nor do I immediately respond when called). I can't make conversation bc we switch from there just being 2 people to 7 people in a blink and I can't do big groups. I'm ok. OKAY. in small groups but I practically shrink or rather turn invisible when there's lots of people. I can't seem to find the natural breaks to interject words and when I do think of something, it feels like it's too late, so I always end up just not saying anything. And just thank goodness for the distraction of a phone. And the internet. I can surf you guys for hours.
I sent an email for that volunteer opportunity. I didn't get a reply since it's like a week late. But it looks fun. Hope I get to do it, but you know, at least I tried. No regrets. I also sent a text. Lol. Just 3 that confirmed carpool next week. LOl, progress especially when I just don't text at all. Words can scar man.
Looking forward to:
Sleeping. In. Tomorrow. BECAUSE IT'S SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't it sad when you find someone who you think is different, but really...they turn out to be the same as everybody else? Which wouldn't technically be a bad thing...unless you yourself(finger guns to myself) aren't like everybody else...Lol.
'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream~
lol, not really. It's more like I'm a nightmare...pointblank...no other comments, that's it. Lol. :O But that's ok. If I'm not happy with myself, then I can't ever expect anyone else to be. So while this may be a long journey to loving myself...I still have quite a while to go considering that people can live to be 100 these days :P
I hope I get the motivation to study tomorrow cause I got a big test and I just need to study bro. Need to study. Aiming for 77 on that final. LOL. I say aiming but that's exactly what I need to pass, so fighting!!
That storm today was brutal though.
I heard there was even hail.
Isn't it interesting that ice falls from the sky? Rain falls from the sky? STUFF FALLS FROM THE SKY????? lol.
I drove in the lightening and it was SO pretty!!! Granted it was kind of scary too but it just felt like I was standing in the midst of something super powerful. The rain was going on for a while so there were puddles everywhere so lights would be reflected in the puddles so it just looked like a long light and I think it's 'cause my contacts are underscript and goodness gracious I think I wasn't even in my lane anymore, I was driving in between the two and thank goodness most sane people are asleep at 6 in the morning. I should have been pulled over by the cops for reckless endangerment, but I guess I should have also woke up a bit earlier so that I wouldn't have had to speed.
There was an "accident", at least I think there was a car accident as I was driving home. And it didn't look bad from what I tried to see. It looked like they had accidentally bumped into the guy's bumper, I didn't see any damage but there probably was some.
Anyways it just reminded me of my car accident. This guy ran into the side of my car and I got pushed off to the side. The left side of the back of my car was completely trashed. The first thing I did was call my mom. Lol, then she called my aunt and brother and basically the whole family. Lol cause that's what we do in my family. Anyways the guy got out of his car and walked over to me, and I get out as he tells me to. Since it's my first accident and I had no freaking clue what to do. He called the cops. And I ask him if he's ok. He talks about his car. Dude.
Really?
I ask him if he's ok, even though he crashed into me, and all he cares about is his freaking car?????? Really. And let me just say his freaking car was barely dented. But I had a big hole in mine. Cops came and then he lied. Called in a friend to confirm his lie. And then called in his mom too. This grown up dude he was about 30 freaking called his mom even though I was only 16 years old and then his mom chewed me out for reckless driving when I didn't even do anything. Then they accused me of texting on my phone when lol, get this, my phone doesn't even have texting!! yeah, I've always been old school and couldn't afford messaging on my phone. It was strictly for emergencies only and gosh, thinking about it makes me so mad.
BUBBBLES!!!!!
Ok. Apparently yelling bubbles out loud in your angriest voice possible will calm you down and I'm a bit calmer. Anyways, police talked and he kept changing his story. I couldn't say for sure that he ran into me bc it happened so quickly but I can say for sure that he came in from the side cause there was no other way that kind of damage could happen. But I felt bad for him so I just said, I wasn't sure what happened since it happened so fast.
And freaking dude lied.
That's what pissed me off the most. He lied even though before he admitted to running into me.When his mom got there he and his mom talked to the cops and it was such a huge disadvantage that I talked to the cops first. And gah. I should have recorded his confession.
To this day. This is the one guy in the whole world that I hate. And I don't really hate people. I may dislike them, but I wouldn't want harm to come to them.
And honestly I thought I was over this, but thinking about it, I'm not. How can someone do that? So dude that ran into me, I hope karma comes and cuts up your sorry butt.
The officer ruled it as being both of our fault and didn't give us a ticket, but dang, dude, you effing messed up. All you had to do was tell the truth and you straight up lied. I hope that lives on in your conscious forever and haunts you till the day you die. And I know this is horrible, but I hope you die in a car accident. Like a legit accident. And the person who ran into you blames you for it. but you know what you're dead so you can't defend yourself.
Wow, I really am bitter. Sorry for the graphic negativity.
But I'm not going to erase it, bc I have dark thoughts. Morbid evil thoughts.
No one is pure white let alone pure black.
We're all different shades of colors, some darker than others, and you know what, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. :I
I'm starting to fall asleep but I don't want to end on such a hateful note. So here's a joke:
or two. lol that wasn't the joke, here they are:
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na...
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.
Lol. ARen't puns hilarious???? They just make my day!!o(*^▽^*)o
Like I said, I'm a late bloomer. :)
Positive:
Another day down, dude! And, no matter what anyone says, making it through each day is amazing!
Accomplishment:
I...didn't cry. Today was worst than other Fridays bc since there was a bit more freetime, so you know lots of downtime to just stand there and talk. Lol, the WORST situation when you have no friends in the class and are just barely polite(lol this is referring to me, bc while I don't purposely try to be rude, it can be taken that way since I don't make eye contact nor do I immediately respond when called). I can't make conversation bc we switch from there just being 2 people to 7 people in a blink and I can't do big groups. I'm ok. OKAY. in small groups but I practically shrink or rather turn invisible when there's lots of people. I can't seem to find the natural breaks to interject words and when I do think of something, it feels like it's too late, so I always end up just not saying anything. And just thank goodness for the distraction of a phone. And the internet. I can surf you guys for hours.
I sent an email for that volunteer opportunity. I didn't get a reply since it's like a week late. But it looks fun. Hope I get to do it, but you know, at least I tried. No regrets. I also sent a text. Lol. Just 3 that confirmed carpool next week. LOl, progress especially when I just don't text at all. Words can scar man.
Looking forward to:
Sleeping. In. Tomorrow. BECAUSE IT'S SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't it sad when you find someone who you think is different, but really...they turn out to be the same as everybody else? Which wouldn't technically be a bad thing...unless you yourself(finger guns to myself) aren't like everybody else...Lol.
'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream~
lol, not really. It's more like I'm a nightmare...pointblank...no other comments, that's it. Lol. :O But that's ok. If I'm not happy with myself, then I can't ever expect anyone else to be. So while this may be a long journey to loving myself...I still have quite a while to go considering that people can live to be 100 these days :P
I hope I get the motivation to study tomorrow cause I got a big test and I just need to study bro. Need to study. Aiming for 77 on that final. LOL. I say aiming but that's exactly what I need to pass, so fighting!!
That storm today was brutal though.
I heard there was even hail.
Isn't it interesting that ice falls from the sky? Rain falls from the sky? STUFF FALLS FROM THE SKY????? lol.
I drove in the lightening and it was SO pretty!!! Granted it was kind of scary too but it just felt like I was standing in the midst of something super powerful. The rain was going on for a while so there were puddles everywhere so lights would be reflected in the puddles so it just looked like a long light and I think it's 'cause my contacts are underscript and goodness gracious I think I wasn't even in my lane anymore, I was driving in between the two and thank goodness most sane people are asleep at 6 in the morning. I should have been pulled over by the cops for reckless endangerment, but I guess I should have also woke up a bit earlier so that I wouldn't have had to speed.
There was an "accident", at least I think there was a car accident as I was driving home. And it didn't look bad from what I tried to see. It looked like they had accidentally bumped into the guy's bumper, I didn't see any damage but there probably was some.
Anyways it just reminded me of my car accident. This guy ran into the side of my car and I got pushed off to the side. The left side of the back of my car was completely trashed. The first thing I did was call my mom. Lol, then she called my aunt and brother and basically the whole family. Lol cause that's what we do in my family. Anyways the guy got out of his car and walked over to me, and I get out as he tells me to. Since it's my first accident and I had no freaking clue what to do. He called the cops. And I ask him if he's ok. He talks about his car. Dude.
Really?
I ask him if he's ok, even though he crashed into me, and all he cares about is his freaking car?????? Really. And let me just say his freaking car was barely dented. But I had a big hole in mine. Cops came and then he lied. Called in a friend to confirm his lie. And then called in his mom too. This grown up dude he was about 30 freaking called his mom even though I was only 16 years old and then his mom chewed me out for reckless driving when I didn't even do anything. Then they accused me of texting on my phone when lol, get this, my phone doesn't even have texting!! yeah, I've always been old school and couldn't afford messaging on my phone. It was strictly for emergencies only and gosh, thinking about it makes me so mad.
BUBBBLES!!!!!
Ok. Apparently yelling bubbles out loud in your angriest voice possible will calm you down and I'm a bit calmer. Anyways, police talked and he kept changing his story. I couldn't say for sure that he ran into me bc it happened so quickly but I can say for sure that he came in from the side cause there was no other way that kind of damage could happen. But I felt bad for him so I just said, I wasn't sure what happened since it happened so fast.
And freaking dude lied.
That's what pissed me off the most. He lied even though before he admitted to running into me.When his mom got there he and his mom talked to the cops and it was such a huge disadvantage that I talked to the cops first. And gah. I should have recorded his confession.
To this day. This is the one guy in the whole world that I hate. And I don't really hate people. I may dislike them, but I wouldn't want harm to come to them.
And honestly I thought I was over this, but thinking about it, I'm not. How can someone do that? So dude that ran into me, I hope karma comes and cuts up your sorry butt.
The officer ruled it as being both of our fault and didn't give us a ticket, but dang, dude, you effing messed up. All you had to do was tell the truth and you straight up lied. I hope that lives on in your conscious forever and haunts you till the day you die. And I know this is horrible, but I hope you die in a car accident. Like a legit accident. And the person who ran into you blames you for it. but you know what you're dead so you can't defend yourself.
Wow, I really am bitter. Sorry for the graphic negativity.
But I'm not going to erase it, bc I have dark thoughts. Morbid evil thoughts.
No one is pure white let alone pure black.
We're all different shades of colors, some darker than others, and you know what, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. :I
I'm starting to fall asleep but I don't want to end on such a hateful note. So here's a joke:
or two. lol that wasn't the joke, here they are:
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na...
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.
Lol. ARen't puns hilarious???? They just make my day!!o(*^▽^*)o
Thursday, April 28, 2016
♫ Did you feel you were tricked By the future you picked? ɿ(｡･ɜ･)ɾ
IDK how to do this? HOW DO I TALK TO PEOPLE????????????
When I signed up for this major I didn't think I was gonna have to deal with politics and learn how to kiss people's butts? What? It's like I'm hanging on an edge and my mortal enemy is the only one there. So my only choices are to plummet to my death or throw away all pride/dignity/morals and appeal to my mortal enemy. The choices aren't very pleasant either way.
positive:
...done with my long thursdays! Lol today was my last day for that class so glad I'm done there.
accomplishment:
I went "out to eat" with my "classmates". Lol so many quotation marks bc I'm not really sure if those are the correct words. Gosh I hate eating out with other people. I'd rather stay in. Socializing? BS. It's just gossiping. And restaurants are rip off artists. I would have rather saved my money; yeah I'm a scrooge sue me. I had already brought my own lunch. I should have just declined the offer. Gah. But no, a part of me was all, hey here's a chance to get close to classmates, don't decline! Blah blah blah. NVM. It's done and over with.
I'm really stupid bc this happens multiples times and I always come to the same conclusion: I'd rather have eaten alone and at home. It's my comfort space. I like my comfort space.
I have one...two more social forced outings and I should be home free for this semester. Gosh, I can freaking do this. >:I
looking forward to:
grrrr...grrrr...what do I even have to look forward to? Sleep? Lol. Usually after the 12 hour days I just conk out. Hopefully I do that tomorrow too.
What am I doing with my life? Hopefully the answer will come soon...
When I signed up for this major I didn't think I was gonna have to deal with politics and learn how to kiss people's butts? What? It's like I'm hanging on an edge and my mortal enemy is the only one there. So my only choices are to plummet to my death or throw away all pride/dignity/morals and appeal to my mortal enemy. The choices aren't very pleasant either way.
positive:
...done with my long thursdays! Lol today was my last day for that class so glad I'm done there.
accomplishment:
I went "out to eat" with my "classmates". Lol so many quotation marks bc I'm not really sure if those are the correct words. Gosh I hate eating out with other people. I'd rather stay in. Socializing? BS. It's just gossiping. And restaurants are rip off artists. I would have rather saved my money; yeah I'm a scrooge sue me. I had already brought my own lunch. I should have just declined the offer. Gah. But no, a part of me was all, hey here's a chance to get close to classmates, don't decline! Blah blah blah. NVM. It's done and over with.
I'm really stupid bc this happens multiples times and I always come to the same conclusion: I'd rather have eaten alone and at home. It's my comfort space. I like my comfort space.
I have one...two more social forced outings and I should be home free for this semester. Gosh, I can freaking do this. >:I
looking forward to:
grrrr...grrrr...what do I even have to look forward to? Sleep? Lol. Usually after the 12 hour days I just conk out. Hopefully I do that tomorrow too.
What am I doing with my life? Hopefully the answer will come soon...
Monday, April 25, 2016
You say it's too late to make it, But is it too late to try? ♬ (≖_≖̥)
What even are hiccups? Gosh I keep telling my brother to scare me so they'll stop, but HE WON'T! That punk.
Lol nvm, I held my breathe and...they're gone! Lol, on the second attempt.
Jerks. Why would you make a fake trailer? ?? You got my hopes up and then crushed them into such itty bitty pieces I can't even see them any more!!! :( Lol, thank you commenters for telling me the truth: there is no friends movies 2016. IT'S A LIEEEEEE! ya jerks.
Positive: I'm done with today. IT'S OVER. OVERRRRRRRR~~~~~
I killed that spider. With a fly swatter. Lol after running away the first time and having my brother deal with it first. See he has a binder that he calls his spider killing binder. Basically he throws the binder at the spider and the jumps on the binder.
So when he saw the spider and yelled. I yelled. He threw. He jumped. And so the binder sat there for 2 hours. Bc it's been established that he kills spiders and I clean up the residue.
So I go to clean it up. I flip the binder over. And I see flailing of spider legs.
"OH MY GOSH, IT'S ALIVE!!!"
I sit there and stare at it for a bit, not sure if I actually saw it move or if it was just residual dead twitching.
It moves. I move. Well, ran to to the kitchen to find my handy dandy flyswatter. I come back and it's like running a marathon to the carpet. I attack. I miss. I attack again. And again. And again. And oh my gosh spider's are so smart.
That thing was playing dead for 2 hours. 2 HOURS!!! Man. But you can't fool me Mr. Spidey! I got you!!!
...now that I think about it, I'm kind of sad too. I mean...it's not like the spider did anything wrong...and yet, it went to spidey heaven. At least I didn't suck it up in my spider vacuum. Lol, yes I have a vacuum that I use to suck up spiders. I'm scared to empty the thing bc what if all the spiders swarm out when I open it and attack me for revenge?
My brother says they're probably still alive in there!!! :OOOOO
What if they crawl out of there and I just keep sucking back up the same spider???????
EEk, I'm getting jittery and panicky about everything that touches me. Stupid loose hair that reminds of spider feet.
RUNNING MAN was nice. Like I said, they'll always be my silver lining for mopey no sleep mondays.
Accomplishment:
Well I took that test. Yessiree I did ma'am, sir, guy, gentlemen. Dude...I have no clue what's going to happen. I'm scared. Terrified. And going to start studying for the final, bc man I got no choice. I need to pull it in for the long haul.
I took the initiative and asked someone to be my partner for the group project. Thank goodness she's nice and smart. We worked well together. Too bad we have to present it next Monday. I'll get there when I get there.
And um...I also have another group teaching project on monday and the group that I'm in hasn't done anything and I'm worried, but I know I worry too much, and agggggggggggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! One day at a time bro! XD
Turns out also when I was freaking out about that missed test, 6 other people in my class also forgot to take the test. Derp. Worried my butt for nothing. SMH.
Man drinking water tastes best out of a glass bottle. It's so nice and shiny and cool looking!
Looking forward to:
Being CLEAN TOMORROW. Man it's been flaming HOT today and tomorrow. I'm burning up here.
And that tends to make me agitated and grrrrrrrr, I need to turn on the fan. The air conditioning is too intermittent.
LOl, shout out to Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'?
Sad fact. Attractive people DO have it better in life. Science says so. They get treated better. And we do this most of the time unconsciously. Yawn~ Me needs sleep.
Sorry skipped around a bunch today but I just realized that I'm running on ~3 hours of sleep so since I don't really interact with anyone in my classes, this is where my loopiness sets loose. XD :P O>O
OH! oh. You know that guy I usually walk to my car with after class? Since class was cancelled last monday, today was AWKWARD. Lol, it's like we went back to the beginning of class. I couldn't talk for nothing. I wish there was a gum I could eat so I could have better conversation skills. There's this chick in my class and she's so witty and interactive, I'm just thinking, what did she do to be able to talk to people like she does? I mean I read books, but I can't mimic their witty interactions. But w/e we only got about 3 more classes together and we'll go on our merry way. Kind of sad, but I don't really keep in contact with people that much I wonder if I could ask him for a selfie though before class is over just to commemorate. Or would that be weird, lol. I like having proof that I talk to people other than my family. Lol. Or is that sad. DON'T PITY ME. XD
Lol, it can't be too late right? It can't be. (lol, again with the british accent everytime I use the word can't. My mind is so silly). There's so many memes on instagram about like a building on fire and the caption: me trying to save my grades; or that one with flushing the spider with the same caption. Lol. So true. Guys, we all share the same struggle, let us join hands and pray we make it through this semester. Seriously I have to make it.
I'm sitting on this bun+thigh roller and it's so fun. It's like I'm in a circus working on my balancing act. Lol, this is not the appropriate use of this exercise machine. But, it's still fun. I wonder if I could work on my buns and thighs this way though. That'd be a nice side effect. Hehehehe. L: :P
MMMM, guess that's all folks! (˘ε˘̩ƪ)
Lol nvm, I held my breathe and...they're gone! Lol, on the second attempt.
Jerks. Why would you make a fake trailer? ?? You got my hopes up and then crushed them into such itty bitty pieces I can't even see them any more!!! :( Lol, thank you commenters for telling me the truth: there is no friends movies 2016. IT'S A LIEEEEEE! ya jerks.
Positive: I'm done with today. IT'S OVER. OVERRRRRRRR~~~~~
I killed that spider. With a fly swatter. Lol after running away the first time and having my brother deal with it first. See he has a binder that he calls his spider killing binder. Basically he throws the binder at the spider and the jumps on the binder.
So when he saw the spider and yelled. I yelled. He threw. He jumped. And so the binder sat there for 2 hours. Bc it's been established that he kills spiders and I clean up the residue.
So I go to clean it up. I flip the binder over. And I see flailing of spider legs.
"OH MY GOSH, IT'S ALIVE!!!"
I sit there and stare at it for a bit, not sure if I actually saw it move or if it was just residual dead twitching.
It moves. I move. Well, ran to to the kitchen to find my handy dandy flyswatter. I come back and it's like running a marathon to the carpet. I attack. I miss. I attack again. And again. And again. And oh my gosh spider's are so smart.
That thing was playing dead for 2 hours. 2 HOURS!!! Man. But you can't fool me Mr. Spidey! I got you!!!
...now that I think about it, I'm kind of sad too. I mean...it's not like the spider did anything wrong...and yet, it went to spidey heaven. At least I didn't suck it up in my spider vacuum. Lol, yes I have a vacuum that I use to suck up spiders. I'm scared to empty the thing bc what if all the spiders swarm out when I open it and attack me for revenge?
My brother says they're probably still alive in there!!! :OOOOO
What if they crawl out of there and I just keep sucking back up the same spider???????
EEk, I'm getting jittery and panicky about everything that touches me. Stupid loose hair that reminds of spider feet.
RUNNING MAN was nice. Like I said, they'll always be my silver lining for mopey no sleep mondays.
Accomplishment:
Well I took that test. Yessiree I did ma'am, sir, guy, gentlemen. Dude...I have no clue what's going to happen. I'm scared. Terrified. And going to start studying for the final, bc man I got no choice. I need to pull it in for the long haul.
I took the initiative and asked someone to be my partner for the group project. Thank goodness she's nice and smart. We worked well together. Too bad we have to present it next Monday. I'll get there when I get there.
And um...I also have another group teaching project on monday and the group that I'm in hasn't done anything and I'm worried, but I know I worry too much, and agggggggggggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! One day at a time bro! XD
Turns out also when I was freaking out about that missed test, 6 other people in my class also forgot to take the test. Derp. Worried my butt for nothing. SMH.
Man drinking water tastes best out of a glass bottle. It's so nice and shiny and cool looking!
Looking forward to:
Being CLEAN TOMORROW. Man it's been flaming HOT today and tomorrow. I'm burning up here.
And that tends to make me agitated and grrrrrrrr, I need to turn on the fan. The air conditioning is too intermittent.
LOl, shout out to Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'?
Sad fact. Attractive people DO have it better in life. Science says so. They get treated better. And we do this most of the time unconsciously. Yawn~ Me needs sleep.
Sorry skipped around a bunch today but I just realized that I'm running on ~3 hours of sleep so since I don't really interact with anyone in my classes, this is where my loopiness sets loose. XD :P O>O
OH! oh. You know that guy I usually walk to my car with after class? Since class was cancelled last monday, today was AWKWARD. Lol, it's like we went back to the beginning of class. I couldn't talk for nothing. I wish there was a gum I could eat so I could have better conversation skills. There's this chick in my class and she's so witty and interactive, I'm just thinking, what did she do to be able to talk to people like she does? I mean I read books, but I can't mimic their witty interactions. But w/e we only got about 3 more classes together and we'll go on our merry way. Kind of sad, but I don't really keep in contact with people that much I wonder if I could ask him for a selfie though before class is over just to commemorate. Or would that be weird, lol. I like having proof that I talk to people other than my family. Lol. Or is that sad. DON'T PITY ME. XD
Lol, it can't be too late right? It can't be. (lol, again with the british accent everytime I use the word can't. My mind is so silly). There's so many memes on instagram about like a building on fire and the caption: me trying to save my grades; or that one with flushing the spider with the same caption. Lol. So true. Guys, we all share the same struggle, let us join hands and pray we make it through this semester. Seriously I have to make it.
I'm sitting on this bun+thigh roller and it's so fun. It's like I'm in a circus working on my balancing act. Lol, this is not the appropriate use of this exercise machine. But, it's still fun. I wonder if I could work on my buns and thighs this way though. That'd be a nice side effect. Hehehehe. L: :P
MMMM, guess that's all folks! (˘ε˘̩ƪ)
Sunday, April 24, 2016
♪ This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
Positive:
Well I didn't have to go to school AND I got to sleep till noon, so 6 hours of sleep which is pretty good for me. XD I actually woke up at noon then realized oh that was only 3 hours and went down for some more dreams.
Lol, they were useless dreams though. Just about manga. I would have rather dreamed about the stuff that would be on the test tomorrow.
I ate fried bananas today; I haven't had them in a while but they were as delicious as I remembered last time. :P
Accomplishment:
Studied. Lol, I hope it pays off, I really need to do well on this test, but there's SO much material to learn, I have no clue what's going to be on there. There are way too many diseases in the world, no wonder doctors specialize.
Looking forward to tomorrow:
Lol, that nap I get to take after the test is over. Goodness tomorrow's going to be a long day. I hope it's not to hot so I can sleep in my car, if not I'm going to have to go the library and actually do work. Lol which can be a good thing... And there's suppose to be a group project I have to do and ugh, I can make it through the day, but God give me strength to not lash out at anyone.
My right nostril has been stopped up like crazy and it's so uncomfortable to breathe and I'm itchy. All these bugs keep biting me. And don't you guys have your own food to eat? Why do you have to feed on human flesh? We're really not that yummy, if anything we're kind of rotten.
Lol, I wish I had the courage to go to prom when I was in high school. I got invited to go as a group, but the people in the group I wasn't that close to, so I didn't take the invite, I should have though, they were all really nice people. I guess I assumed I was invited out of politeness and I was just scared of intruding. Lol, I'm still scared nowadays of invading on other people's friendships. That's why I like new classes so much where no one knows each other. It puts us all, almost, on the same playing field. Lol. Well, gotta blast.
Please God, let tomorrow go over ok and let me know most of the questions on the test! I feel like the material shouldn't be that bad, but idk, it seems hard...I'll keep studying. Fighting!! (੭ ˃ ㅂ˂)੭ु
Well I didn't have to go to school AND I got to sleep till noon, so 6 hours of sleep which is pretty good for me. XD I actually woke up at noon then realized oh that was only 3 hours and went down for some more dreams.
Lol, they were useless dreams though. Just about manga. I would have rather dreamed about the stuff that would be on the test tomorrow.
I ate fried bananas today; I haven't had them in a while but they were as delicious as I remembered last time. :P
Accomplishment:
Studied. Lol, I hope it pays off, I really need to do well on this test, but there's SO much material to learn, I have no clue what's going to be on there. There are way too many diseases in the world, no wonder doctors specialize.
Looking forward to tomorrow:
Lol, that nap I get to take after the test is over. Goodness tomorrow's going to be a long day. I hope it's not to hot so I can sleep in my car, if not I'm going to have to go the library and actually do work. Lol which can be a good thing... And there's suppose to be a group project I have to do and ugh, I can make it through the day, but God give me strength to not lash out at anyone.
My right nostril has been stopped up like crazy and it's so uncomfortable to breathe and I'm itchy. All these bugs keep biting me. And don't you guys have your own food to eat? Why do you have to feed on human flesh? We're really not that yummy, if anything we're kind of rotten.
Lol, I wish I had the courage to go to prom when I was in high school. I got invited to go as a group, but the people in the group I wasn't that close to, so I didn't take the invite, I should have though, they were all really nice people. I guess I assumed I was invited out of politeness and I was just scared of intruding. Lol, I'm still scared nowadays of invading on other people's friendships. That's why I like new classes so much where no one knows each other. It puts us all, almost, on the same playing field. Lol. Well, gotta blast.
Please God, let tomorrow go over ok and let me know most of the questions on the test! I feel like the material shouldn't be that bad, but idk, it seems hard...I'll keep studying. Fighting!! (੭ ˃ ㅂ˂)੭ु
Saturday, April 23, 2016
I raise my flag and dye my clothes It's a revolution, I suppose We're painted red to fit right in ♬ くコ：彡
It's a revolution somehow.
Positive:
I got buttercream bread. I ate too much so my stomach hurts, and I feel sleepy.
Accomplishment:
I introduced myself twice. I hate introductions, bc my name is weird so no one remembers it anyways...
I got told once since it was so unique people would remember it more...lol, not true.
Look forward to:
Sleep. Study. Pass my test.
I wish I could get rid of this greedy part of me. So, when I was driving home today, I drove with the passenger's window down bc it was hot and I don't like putting the driver's window down bc then if I look to the left at a stoplight/stop sign, I got other people and their peopleness looking back at me.
Anyways, so I stop at a redlight and there are these kids...I knew it. When there are people on the side of the road that aren't walking, they gonna be asking for money. And it's not like I could just roll up the window or pretend I didn't hear them. So the kid came to my car, asked if I wanted to donate to a basketball club or game or something like that.
I look at the red light wishing it would hurry up, course I got sunglasses on(rocking my shades), and when the kid asked me, my immediate response was, "Uh, I don't know if I have any money with me right now..." trailed off and then opened up that pocket drawer thing that's between the driver's and passenger's seats. And lo and behold, there's a 20$ bill right there. The kid glances at it and whispers something to his friend. I look at the kid and then back at the money and...I gave him the money. Lol, what was I suppose to do? Was that even the right thing to do?
My logic cringes saying "What a waste of money! You should have drove faster!" Lol, but then the angel in me is all, "good job, you did something for someone else for once, and gah, I know 20$ doesn't seem like a lot to some people, but that's a lot for donations, and I didn't get anything in return."
Gosh, I'm so sleepy, my contacts hurt so bad, I have to finish this and study.
I wish I was one of those people who're able to just give everything to others...I'm too dang selfish to do that. Gosh, So dang sleepy. I've had 4 minute ine
Lol, so it's 10 in the morning and I just woke up...so apparently I fell asleep last night while I was typing. I don't even know what I was going to say or what that word is suppose to be, so I'll just leave it. But what I wanted to say was that there are so many people who give money and stuff and themselves to others, but I'm all, "No. This is mine. Why should I share." And ugh, I need to just grow up(lol even though I'm an adult), besides what am I gonna do with stuff anyways? I can't take it with me when I die. So God, please give me a more...giving heart.
MMM, I'm watching Tarzan and I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Come on people, we live together on this planet, why can't we just get along. Yesh, Yeah I know about the whole chain of command and prey and predator and circle of life(lol different movie), but...it makes me sad, that death is really inevitable..:(
So on that note, try to be a better person than you were yesterday. Whether that be kinder, more positive, or more active, just stop standing there like you're stuck in mud or have chains around your ankles bc the only thing tying you down is yourself...so get it together! Man, buddy, pal, I know it's not easy, but take that step instead of just standing there. :) Fighting!! o((*^▽^*))o
So update again, this time for 4.23
positive:
Bless her heart. I almost had a heart attack bc I thought I had missed a test today; granted it was a practice test, but it was a mandatory one, so I was all kinds of freaking out. So I emailed the teacher and like I said, bless her soul, she reopened it for me and I was able to take it. So grateful she was even awake and that she even answered. Some teachers don't, so I was just grateful from the bottom of my heart. I didn't do too well, lol got a 54% but, it was a practice test and for some reason I felt rushed. And, not all there bc I had forgotten bc there was that major test on monday and so bleck, kill me now, curse my obsessive personality, so focused on that test I had forgotten about the one today. Lol anyways, I did it and the real one should be sometime next week and hopefully I'll do better on that one. :) Fingers crossed and heart locked.
accomplishment:
I'm studying now and planning to study until it's time to wake up Monday. I ate all the buttercream bread. Lol, I sat there for legit 20 minutes just staring at the last inch wanting to savor it, but really needing to finish it and my stomach hurt, but I didn't just want to leave it there and finally consumed the thing. It was delicious!!! Thank you all bakers and cooks and chefs of the world. and thank you for the invention of sugar and sweets bc they really do make the world go round. My brother said something that kind of hit home:
Me: "You know, I'm ok with being fat bc eating makes me happy."
Him:" Yeah, for now. But then after you're done eating-"
Me:"-I'm sad..."
Him:"Yup."
Me:"Huh. I guess it's vicious cycle. I eat to be happy. But once I'm done eating, I'm sad. So I eat again, even though I'm not hungry."
Him: Duh look. "And laying like a bum on that couch ain't helping your situation either."
And then slew of insults and punches ensue. Lol, you know typical sibling fight.
○|￣|_ but, he's got a point. I have to learn to curb my sweet tooth and I even refused to go walking today and instead just stayed inside reading manga....( ु•̫•̫ ु) lol, what am I even doing with my life?
look forward:
to studying, bc it does feel good to learn, and I don't dislike learning, honestly I do like it even though I complain about it. It just feels like my brain is so tiny and there's SO MUCH to learn, not just for school, but to survive in modern life. And I'm ALWAYS, always forgetting stuff so sometimes the motivation isn't there bc I know I'll just forget what I just learned.
Positive:
I got buttercream bread. I ate too much so my stomach hurts, and I feel sleepy.
Accomplishment:
I introduced myself twice. I hate introductions, bc my name is weird so no one remembers it anyways...
I got told once since it was so unique people would remember it more...lol, not true.
Look forward to:
Sleep. Study. Pass my test.
I wish I could get rid of this greedy part of me. So, when I was driving home today, I drove with the passenger's window down bc it was hot and I don't like putting the driver's window down bc then if I look to the left at a stoplight/stop sign, I got other people and their peopleness looking back at me.
Anyways, so I stop at a redlight and there are these kids...I knew it. When there are people on the side of the road that aren't walking, they gonna be asking for money. And it's not like I could just roll up the window or pretend I didn't hear them. So the kid came to my car, asked if I wanted to donate to a basketball club or game or something like that.
I look at the red light wishing it would hurry up, course I got sunglasses on(rocking my shades), and when the kid asked me, my immediate response was, "Uh, I don't know if I have any money with me right now..." trailed off and then opened up that pocket drawer thing that's between the driver's and passenger's seats. And lo and behold, there's a 20$ bill right there. The kid glances at it and whispers something to his friend. I look at the kid and then back at the money and...I gave him the money. Lol, what was I suppose to do? Was that even the right thing to do?
My logic cringes saying "What a waste of money! You should have drove faster!" Lol, but then the angel in me is all, "good job, you did something for someone else for once, and gah, I know 20$ doesn't seem like a lot to some people, but that's a lot for donations, and I didn't get anything in return."
Gosh, I'm so sleepy, my contacts hurt so bad, I have to finish this and study.
I wish I was one of those people who're able to just give everything to others...I'm too dang selfish to do that. Gosh, So dang sleepy. I've had 4 minute ine
Lol, so it's 10 in the morning and I just woke up...so apparently I fell asleep last night while I was typing. I don't even know what I was going to say or what that word is suppose to be, so I'll just leave it. But what I wanted to say was that there are so many people who give money and stuff and themselves to others, but I'm all, "No. This is mine. Why should I share." And ugh, I need to just grow up(lol even though I'm an adult), besides what am I gonna do with stuff anyways? I can't take it with me when I die. So God, please give me a more...giving heart.
MMM, I'm watching Tarzan and I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Come on people, we live together on this planet, why can't we just get along. Yesh, Yeah I know about the whole chain of command and prey and predator and circle of life(lol different movie), but...it makes me sad, that death is really inevitable..:(
So on that note, try to be a better person than you were yesterday. Whether that be kinder, more positive, or more active, just stop standing there like you're stuck in mud or have chains around your ankles bc the only thing tying you down is yourself...so get it together! Man, buddy, pal, I know it's not easy, but take that step instead of just standing there. :) Fighting!! o((*^▽^*))o
So update again, this time for 4.23
positive:
Bless her heart. I almost had a heart attack bc I thought I had missed a test today; granted it was a practice test, but it was a mandatory one, so I was all kinds of freaking out. So I emailed the teacher and like I said, bless her soul, she reopened it for me and I was able to take it. So grateful she was even awake and that she even answered. Some teachers don't, so I was just grateful from the bottom of my heart. I didn't do too well, lol got a 54% but, it was a practice test and for some reason I felt rushed. And, not all there bc I had forgotten bc there was that major test on monday and so bleck, kill me now, curse my obsessive personality, so focused on that test I had forgotten about the one today. Lol anyways, I did it and the real one should be sometime next week and hopefully I'll do better on that one. :) Fingers crossed and heart locked.
accomplishment:
I'm studying now and planning to study until it's time to wake up Monday. I ate all the buttercream bread. Lol, I sat there for legit 20 minutes just staring at the last inch wanting to savor it, but really needing to finish it and my stomach hurt, but I didn't just want to leave it there and finally consumed the thing. It was delicious!!! Thank you all bakers and cooks and chefs of the world. and thank you for the invention of sugar and sweets bc they really do make the world go round. My brother said something that kind of hit home:
Me: "You know, I'm ok with being fat bc eating makes me happy."
Him:" Yeah, for now. But then after you're done eating-"
Me:"-I'm sad..."
Him:"Yup."
Me:"Huh. I guess it's vicious cycle. I eat to be happy. But once I'm done eating, I'm sad. So I eat again, even though I'm not hungry."
Him: Duh look. "And laying like a bum on that couch ain't helping your situation either."
And then slew of insults and punches ensue. Lol, you know typical sibling fight.
○|￣|_ but, he's got a point. I have to learn to curb my sweet tooth and I even refused to go walking today and instead just stayed inside reading manga....( ु•̫•̫ ु) lol, what am I even doing with my life?
look forward:
to studying, bc it does feel good to learn, and I don't dislike learning, honestly I do like it even though I complain about it. It just feels like my brain is so tiny and there's SO MUCH to learn, not just for school, but to survive in modern life. And I'm ALWAYS, always forgetting stuff so sometimes the motivation isn't there bc I know I'll just forget what I just learned.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
♪ Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up We're hiding behind skin that's too tough ┌[ ʘ̆ ʘ̆ ]┐
You know the best feeling in the world?
It's eating when you're hungry. Like legitly hungry, Not, oh, I've been sitting here for a few hours, I guess I should go eat. Or I'm going to eat because I'm watching television. Or I'm going to eat because I don't want to do my hw. Lol, I've done all these things, but no, today, I didn't get to eat until around 2 in the afternoon and the only thing I had all day was a 1/4th of a granola bar and 2 sips of water. At one point I swear my stomach was eating itself. And because I was standing around most of the day, there were some points where my vision was getting tunneled(you know where blackness starts creeping around the edges)...I really should eat breakfast, but back to what I was saying, when I finally got to eat, it tasted AMAZING. I don't think I've ever been so grateful for food in my life. I mean, it's something I really take for granted because I can get it whenever I want, but man, I'm so thankful that I was able to eat...because man I ate.
Positive:
The people I got to shadow today were exquisitely wonderful. LOl, I found one of my own kind!! I'm not an alien, I promise XD...lol well I guess if I was that would be the first thing I would say...
okay, anyways there was a guy where I was today and he was "quiet"! What? Don't look at me like that. He was like me, but good looking. Lol, some people are so blessed. But anyways, he even has that whole I want to help, but I don't know what to do demeanor. Lol, basically a clumsy bum with good intentions...wow a sentence that describes me so well.
Accomplishment:
Oh, I got to take a 4 hour nap, since I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and slept at 1:00 A.M. Lol, I just woke up about 30 minutes ago. I didn't get any hw done, but I did go walking today for about 40 minutes, which was nice. I love exercising, it's just so much work, lol.
Man, I need to get motivated because summertime=exercise time.
And, and, and! I got this post out before midnight. Lol, I really hate it when I write past midnight because it feels like I"m missing a deadline. Anyways, I'm gonna go finish eating my chicken sandwich(yes, I'm a night eater, bite me...not really, bc that's not really my thing bc it hurts....), and possibly a cupcake, bc I made those punks and so I gotta eat those punks.
Looking forward:
Tomorrow being over, lol, I've only got 4 more 12 hour days and I am finished, FINISHED BABY!!!, with this semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how freaking awesome that is??????????????? I am so ready for summer!
Man, I'm debating whether to shower or not, the oils in my hair are not chilling and are multiplying all over my head.
Lol, do what you gotta do HOME SKILLET BISCUIT!! Lol, I can't deal with Raven she's so funny! I miss that show! <3
It's eating when you're hungry. Like legitly hungry, Not, oh, I've been sitting here for a few hours, I guess I should go eat. Or I'm going to eat because I'm watching television. Or I'm going to eat because I don't want to do my hw. Lol, I've done all these things, but no, today, I didn't get to eat until around 2 in the afternoon and the only thing I had all day was a 1/4th of a granola bar and 2 sips of water. At one point I swear my stomach was eating itself. And because I was standing around most of the day, there were some points where my vision was getting tunneled(you know where blackness starts creeping around the edges)...I really should eat breakfast, but back to what I was saying, when I finally got to eat, it tasted AMAZING. I don't think I've ever been so grateful for food in my life. I mean, it's something I really take for granted because I can get it whenever I want, but man, I'm so thankful that I was able to eat...because man I ate.
Positive:
The people I got to shadow today were exquisitely wonderful. LOl, I found one of my own kind!! I'm not an alien, I promise XD...lol well I guess if I was that would be the first thing I would say...
okay, anyways there was a guy where I was today and he was "quiet"! What? Don't look at me like that. He was like me, but good looking. Lol, some people are so blessed. But anyways, he even has that whole I want to help, but I don't know what to do demeanor. Lol, basically a clumsy bum with good intentions...wow a sentence that describes me so well.
Accomplishment:
Oh, I got to take a 4 hour nap, since I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and slept at 1:00 A.M. Lol, I just woke up about 30 minutes ago. I didn't get any hw done, but I did go walking today for about 40 minutes, which was nice. I love exercising, it's just so much work, lol.
Man, I need to get motivated because summertime=exercise time.
And, and, and! I got this post out before midnight. Lol, I really hate it when I write past midnight because it feels like I"m missing a deadline. Anyways, I'm gonna go finish eating my chicken sandwich(yes, I'm a night eater, bite me...not really, bc that's not really my thing bc it hurts....), and possibly a cupcake, bc I made those punks and so I gotta eat those punks.
Looking forward:
Tomorrow being over, lol, I've only got 4 more 12 hour days and I am finished, FINISHED BABY!!!, with this semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how freaking awesome that is??????????????? I am so ready for summer!
Man, I'm debating whether to shower or not, the oils in my hair are not chilling and are multiplying all over my head.
Lol, do what you gotta do HOME SKILLET BISCUIT!! Lol, I can't deal with Raven she's so funny! I miss that show! <3
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