Monday, May 30, 2016

So dance alone to the beat of your heart ♪ ┌|゜з゜|┘

“I am participating in the Writing Contest: Writers Crushing Doubt. Hosted by Positive Writer.” See more at: 
copy and paste:
direct link:

I read the topic, and then realized it would take me too long to write and to be honest I didn't know how to start. I stopped writing a couple years ago and just recently started writing again and for the life of me, I couldn't remember why I stopped. As I was brushing my teeth, I tried to remember and then it hit me. 

I had published my writing online to get feedback. It was an easy way to see how people would respond to my writing, and it also gave me the power of anonymity. I should have known better. I know that in this world you can't please everyone and that it's nearly impossible to get everyone to like you...but still, I had held onto the thought that people are nice. I mean they are nice, but they can be quite harsh too. I guess I had blocked out that last half. After all, people aren't just a single hue; they're way more complex.

I got a comment that basically said my writing was trash; I should never write again; and, that next time I thought about posting a story, I should just was like a bolt of lightening. I'm not going to lie. I read the comment several times, shut off my computer, went into the shower, and cried. I cried, and then I got angry. Who was one person to tell me what my writing was?  Very quickly though, the anger settled into doubt. What if my writing really was trash? Maybe all my teachers before had simply been placating me. After all, not everybody could be a writer...

I'm not a professional writer. Nor did I ever claim to be. I just like writing. It was as simple as that; I should have kept it as simple as that. 

The human brain is amazing and tragic in its ability to forget. If I hadn't forgotten about that incident, I might have been plagued forever with the nasty taste that one person had left. Now that I remember and look back on it, I can honestly admit, the story wasn't amazing, but it wasn't trash either.  It was on a site where everyone was free to post the stories that they had created and then get constructive criticism. I should have focused more on the positive comments instead of that one negative one, but bad things tend to stick more than good things. I'll still never understand people who intentionally make others feel small by insulting them, but, the thing I'm most sorry about is that I let one person taint a hobby that made me happy. 

My story isn't inspiring. It's not even motivational. I wasn't able to overcome that obstacle. I let it get to me. I fell down and didn't get back up. 

But I think what counts is that, now, I have gotten over it. I'm not staying down. I write and I'm still not a professional writer, but, I get to do the thing I love once again. I take what others say into consideration, but I don't let it control me. I let that past incident be a learning experience. 

It wasn't me personally that overcame writer's doubt, but more of time's influence. I don't know if that's cheating, but I'm grateful. 

No comments:

Post a Comment