So, I'm super duper excited to start this new blog. I'm excited to see what'll become of me at the end of this journey, but of course I'll sniff the flowers along the way. ;o
My life stinks(figuratively, and only literally when I choose not to shower(my record is actually 3 days then, I hit ew is my hair some kind of limpy spaghetti? Lol, :X)). I'm frustrated. I cry at the drop of a hat. I've thought about how I want to kill myself more times than I want to count. I get in angry tizzy spells, that are in hindsight, nothing short of ridiculous. And, I have no idea what's going on or what I'm going to do with my life. So...jolly epiphany huh? Actually it's the inner thoughts of many a nights spent staring at the streetlight that shines between the cracks in my windows blinds. Sorry to get a bit depressed there, but it's the sad truth...of my life. Wow, downer, but, no more! I'm getting out of this hole, even if I have to crawl my way out. You can do it!!!
So, me thinks it's time for a change, darling!!
I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I'm finally going to do it because if not today, then when? I'm not sure if anything will come out of it, but don't knock it till you try it right? Lol, I'm just chock full of quotes today.
This will be my pepe le pew(gotta love that guy!).
Haha, I really love beginning things, it's just I'm awfully terrible at finishing. Lol, for some reason as I was writing that, it sounded British in my head. O.o
In a nutshell, it's going to be a positive journal. Positive thinking. Positive thoughts. Positivity like that person who you see is absolutely glowing at six in the morning. Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, I'm not gonna lie. I'll NEVER be that person, simply because I am not a morning person. But I want a better grasp of my life. I want to be able to look at my future and notice all the good things that could happen instead of all the bad things that could happen. I mean there is two sides of a coin, and I've been way too fixated on one side for way too long. If this doesn't work, then nothing lost on me, but if it does, I'm hoping I'll be a little bit happier. And if there's anything I ever wanted in my life, it was to be happy. I still and will always want, to just be happy.
I'm just going to start with one...and maybe, if I get the hang of this, I'll start increasing how much I put.
So day 1) today...lol
I was able to talk to my friend today. I drive her to school, and last week I was in a bit of a mood so the car was filled with awkward silence...and tidbits of oh, it's suppose to rain today? Lol, weather is always safe. But, I got to laugh and smile and talk even though those are things I haven't done lately...I'm grateful I at least have one friend, even if we're not the best of friends, just having someone that will talk to me...is something that I've taken granted for years. Nicest twenty minutes of my day!!
Oh, I can't help but put this in since it's one of the joys of my life: my manga updated!!! Gosh, there's something seriously wrong with my brain. Every time I think of something good, it tries to counteract it with something negative. Stop it brain. Seriously. I ain't got time for your negativity. I'm trying to live here. It's called Mahou Tsukai no Yome and I'm loooving it! <3
something I accomplished:
I think this is the reason why I wanted to start this blog. I...am absolutely positively(lol) awful at talking. This includes in person, in text, on the phone...any sort of contact with humans or even animals in general have me so anxious, it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest and my brain is going to blow up from all the thoughts. But, here comes the good news :P, I had to make appointments today, one for my eye and one for my passport. I did it! I talked to them and was able to make the appointment! That's big for me. So good job me. You did well. I'm proud of you. Lol. I can hear the negative thoughts creeping in now, but I'm going to halt you negative thoughts. I DID do well. I did take a step. And I overcame the obstacle placed in front of me. Soooo...YAY ME!!! XP
something I look forward to tomorrow:
...not gonna lie, but I knew this was going to be the hardest one. I've always been the type of person to dread tomorrow, so I have to think a lot for this one. Oh! Lol! Food! I get to eats spaghetti tomorrow! Oh my gosh, and it's soooo good! I love spaghetti! And...it's my breakfast so I can look forward to it in the morning!!! And it's made by my mom so it's not like the American style spaghetti, but the meat is actually mixed in with the sauce so there are no meatballs. But! with every bite you get sauce, noodle, and meat!!! It's daebak! The best! And I'll probably put chili peppers to make it just the right amount of spicy, and oh my goodness, I can't wait to eat it!!! It's so yummy!!! :D
Lol, I wrote bunches even though it's only one thing. I've always been a writer and proud of it!! So that's it for today. Lol, for some reason my hands still feel the urge to write, so I'll probably go work on one of my in progress writings. or not. lol.