Thursday, April 7, 2016

And if you close your eyes, Does it almost feel like You've been here before?

I burnt my tongue drinking coffee :I (I put in hazelnut creamer and it was delish xD; I wanted to try the french vanilla but it was out) Such delicious food, and I caaaan't taste it. Lol, now I can't stop saying "a" words with a British accent. Hahaha, if I live in England long enough, surely I can develop a British accent, right??????????? There is hooope, riiiiight????? Lol, if not, I can settle with an Australian accent. And if all else fails, I'll go to an Irish accent...(´ε` )♡

something positive about the day:
Bro:"I heard a knock and ding dong while I was running, but I was in the zone so I didn't answer it."

Me:"What do you mean you didn't answer it, what if it was an emergency?"

Bro:"Well that's your problem. Don't call me either, cause I won't pick up."

Me:"What?! What if I'm dying?!"

Bro:"Well that's your problem. Just don't die between 5:30-6:30."

\(º □ º l|l)/

Lol, bc I really get to choose when I die. This is why I'm glad my parents procreated another child. What would I do without him? Lol, apparently die. But no, really, I feel so blessed to have him. (ノ´з`)ノ

what I had accomplished:
Lol. Nothing. Jk. I went to class even though I didn't want to. I talked to my classmate instead of ignoring her like the loner I am. I tried to talk to the staff, but again, human interaction...not my cup of tea dearies.

I also learned that people are seriously...more than just what you see. A "nice" person can be a real...jerk. And a "mean" person can be a saint. And change, change baby is harder than you think it is. A person who suddenly says, "Oh, I've changed..." be forewarned. People don't just quickly "change". It's freaking hard.

Sigh. I just remembered the 3 things I regret in this world. 2 of them bc of other people and 1 of them bc of my family. I'm...actually too ashamed to post them on here, but I did post it on anonymous confession. It doesn't lessen any of the guilt...but if I ever see them in person again...I want to promise that I won't hesitate to apologize. But..idk. I wish I was a better person. You of those people that just radiated goodness...and why am I so evil inside? :( I used to be such a good kid...but idk what happened. It stinks being a horrible person. Hah. This is not where I was planning to go with this, but like I said: I've always been a negative person so of course it won't be that easy to change into a positive, loving life person. But I'm trying and I'm gonna have relapses and it's not going to be easy, but I want to look in the mirror and not hate the person I see there. I want to be happy that God created me. I want to know I wasn't a worthless existence. But, like I said, it'll take time. And I'm gonna work on it. Lol, one day at a time.

something I look forward to the next day:
TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!! YESH!!!!  Lol, it's a long day, but then comes the weekend amigo!!! I'm going to listen to my new CD's that I bought tomorrow on my way to school. AND! AND! AND! ...pSSst, get this. I'm going to EAT breakfast tomorrow. I forgot if I talked about it, but I ran into some blood and I hadn't eaten breakfast and just my vision started going black. Not like black spots, but kind of like static black started creeping into the side of my vision. I walked briskly out of that room and basically sprinted down the hall into the bathroom, sat down, and closed my eyes. It was effing scary. lOL, it wasn't until I was able to stand up steadily that I realized I sat on the nasty bathroom floor. Lol, but w/e. I crammed a candy down my throat and sat there for a bit hoping that I wouldn't pass out. It was quite an experience. One day at a time.

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