Friday, April 29, 2016

'Cause we're young and we're reckless We'll take this way too far ♬

I was young. But I had never been reckless. I mean no parties, no drugs, no dating, no rebellion. I mean just in the past few years is where I've been kind of irritated at my parents or people for no reason, which is symbolic of teenage angst but...I'm not a teenager. Lol.

Like I said, I'm a late bloomer. :)

Another day down, dude! And, no matter what anyone says, making it through each day is amazing!

I...didn't cry. Today was worst than other Fridays bc since there was a bit more freetime, so you know lots of downtime to just stand there and talk. Lol, the WORST situation when you have no friends in the class and are just barely polite(lol this is referring to me, bc while I don't purposely try to be rude, it can be taken that way since I don't make eye contact nor do I immediately respond when called). I can't make conversation bc we switch from there just being 2 people to 7 people in a blink and I can't do big groups. I'm ok. OKAY. in small groups but I practically shrink or rather turn invisible when there's lots of people. I can't seem to find the natural breaks to interject words and when I do think of something, it feels like it's too late, so I always end up just not saying anything. And just thank goodness for the distraction of a phone. And the internet. I can surf you guys for hours.

I sent an email for that volunteer opportunity. I didn't get a reply since it's like a week late. But it looks fun. Hope I get to do it, but you know, at least I tried. No regrets. I also sent a text. Lol. Just 3 that confirmed carpool next week. LOl, progress especially when I just don't text at all. Words can scar man.

Looking forward to:
Sleeping. In. Tomorrow. BECAUSE IT'S SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! YATTA!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it sad when you find someone who you think is different, but really...they turn out to be the same as everybody else? Which wouldn't technically be a bad thing...unless you yourself(finger guns to myself) aren't like everybody else...Lol.

'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream~

lol, not really. It's more like I'm a other comments, that's it. Lol. :O But that's ok. If I'm not happy with myself, then I can't ever expect anyone else to be. So while this may be a long journey to loving myself...I still have quite a while to go considering that people can live to be 100 these days :P

I hope I get the motivation to study tomorrow cause I got a big test and I just need to study bro. Need to study. Aiming for 77 on that final. LOL. I say aiming but that's exactly what I need to pass, so fighting!!

That storm today was brutal though.

I heard there was even hail.

Isn't it interesting that ice falls from the sky? Rain falls from the sky? STUFF FALLS FROM THE SKY????? lol.

I drove in the lightening and it was SO pretty!!! Granted it was kind of scary too but it just felt like I was standing in the midst of something super powerful. The rain was going on for a while so there were puddles everywhere so lights would be reflected in the puddles so it just looked like a long light and I think it's 'cause my contacts are underscript and goodness gracious I think I wasn't even in my lane anymore, I was driving in between the two and thank goodness most sane people are asleep at 6 in the morning. I should have been pulled over by the cops for reckless endangerment, but I guess I should have also woke up a bit earlier so that I wouldn't have had to speed.

There was an "accident", at least I think there was a car accident as I was driving home. And it didn't look bad from what I tried to see. It looked like they had accidentally bumped into the guy's bumper, I didn't see any damage but there probably was some.

Anyways it just reminded me of my car accident. This guy ran into the side of my car and I got pushed off to the side. The left side of the back of my car was completely trashed. The first thing I did was call my mom. Lol, then she called my aunt and brother and basically the whole family. Lol cause that's what we do in my family. Anyways the guy got out of his car and walked over to me, and I get out as he tells me to. Since it's my first accident and I had no freaking clue what to do. He called the cops. And I ask him if he's ok. He talks about his car. Dude.


I ask him if he's ok, even though he crashed into me, and all he cares about is his freaking car?????? Really. And let me just say his freaking car was barely dented. But I had a big hole in mine. Cops came and then he lied. Called in a friend to confirm his lie. And then called in his mom too. This grown up dude he was about 30 freaking called his mom even though I was only 16 years old and then his mom chewed me out for reckless driving when I didn't even do anything. Then they accused me of texting on my phone when lol, get this, my phone doesn't even have texting!! yeah, I've always been old school and couldn't afford messaging on my phone. It was strictly for emergencies only and gosh, thinking about it makes me so mad.


Ok. Apparently yelling bubbles out loud in your angriest voice possible will calm you down and I'm a bit calmer. Anyways, police talked and he kept changing his story. I couldn't say for sure that he ran into me bc it happened so quickly but I can say for sure that he came in from the side cause there was no other way that kind of damage could happen. But I felt bad for him so I just said, I wasn't sure what happened since it happened so fast.

And freaking dude lied.

That's what pissed me off the most. He lied even though before he admitted to running into me.When his mom got there he and his mom talked to the cops and it was such a huge disadvantage that I talked to the cops first. And gah. I should have recorded his confession.

To this day. This is the one guy in the whole world that I hate. And I don't really hate people. I may dislike them, but I wouldn't want harm to come to them.

And honestly I thought I was over this, but thinking about it, I'm not. How can someone do that? So dude that ran into me, I hope karma comes and cuts up your sorry butt.

The officer ruled it as being both of our fault and didn't give us a ticket, but dang, dude, you effing messed up. All you had to do was tell the truth and you straight up lied. I hope that lives on in your conscious forever and haunts you till the day you die. And I know this is horrible, but I hope you die in a car accident. Like a legit accident. And the person who ran into you blames you for it. but you know what you're dead so you can't defend yourself.

Wow, I really am bitter. Sorry for the graphic negativity.

But I'm not going to erase it, bc I have dark thoughts. Morbid evil thoughts.

No one is pure white let alone pure black.

We're all different shades of colors, some darker than others, and you know what, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. :I

I'm starting to fall asleep but I don't want to end on such a hateful note. So here's a joke:

or two. lol that wasn't the joke, here they are:

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na...

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.

Lol. ARen't puns hilarious???? They just make my day!!o(*^▽^*)o

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